Heroes and Villains
by Patcat
Summary: A different perspective
1. Chapter 1

HEROES AND VICTIMS

Chapter One

"But aren't you afraid? I mean, crazy people. Who knows what they'd do?"

She hated this reaction, which almost always followed the revelation that she was a psychiatrist. She usually took a sip of her drink, straightened her back, and quietly explained that the huge majority of mentally ill people were usually the victims of crime and the dangerous ones were a very small minority, a number so small that it shouldn't matter. The person she was speaking to would inevitably smile and say something about the latest incident where a deranged young man—it was almost always a young man—murdered his family or massacred a dozen people at a shopping mall. She would point out that in nearly every case the attacker had some history of mental problems and even received treatment which had been ended because of insurance or state or federal regulations or lack of followup.

"If," she'd say. "Our society would be willing to pay a few dollars more, things like that could be avoided. And while we're on the subject, if you want to help end the homeless problem..."

It was at this point that the other person in the conversation's eyes would glaze over, and she knew the conversation was over.

She wasn't afraid. Certainly never of her patients, even when she interned at a state facility which housed some of the most delusional of patients. When she dealt with the most dangerous patients she followed all the procedures. She was never afraid.

Until now.

Until a very angry man stood between her and the sanctuary of her office. A very large, muscular young man fingering something in his pocket, something that might be a gun or a knife. She usually was very aware of her surroundings, and the building was safe, but the the man appeared from the stairwell after she left the elevator. Her first instinct was to rush back to the elevator, but the doors had already closed.

"Are you the bitch that made my woman leave me?"

She swallowed. Her cell phone was in her purse, and she cursed the rules that made women carry their stuff in a bag and not readily accessible in their pockets, that is, if their slacks had pockets. And she hated the shoes she wore, although she doubted she could outrun the man even with running shoes. She could scream, but she was fairly sure no one was in the building. She could only hope her patient was early.

"I asked you a question, bitch!" He rushed at her with terrifying speed.

"I'm sorry." She hoped she might be able to use her strongest skills and talk her way out of this. "I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about. Please, can you tell me..."

As she spoke, she moved slowly towards the elevator and pushed her bag to her front. She reasoned the elevator might stop and offer rescue from someone or escape.

"Shut up! Don't try any of that shit with me!" His hand flew out of his pocket and waved a knife in front of her face. It looked huge and inches from her face.

"Please," she said as she desperately tried to think of what patient was having serious trouble with a husband or boyfriend. "I don't know..."

Before she realized what was happening, he shoved her and slammed her against the wall. "You know what I think?" One of his hands seized her jaw; the other pressed the knife against her stomach. Her purse offered her slight protection. She tried to wrench away from him, to knee him, but he was too big, too strong. "I think you're a bitch who doesn't have a real man. Who hasn't had one in a long time. I think me and you should go into your office and have a little session of our own."

She opened her mouth to scream. He slammed her head against the wall, and stars exploded in her brain. He took advantage of her stunned state to slam her fist against her face. She slumped and slid down the wall, and he jumped on top of her.

"Or better yet, let's just do it out here." He grabbed under her skirt and yanked down her panty hose and panties. His fingers clawed her skin. "Nobody's going to interrupt us this late. They'll find you out here. The way you should be, bitch."

She tried again to scream, but her mouth was full of blood. Her head spun and swam from the blow she'd received. He ripped her blouse, and she struggled to fight him. He swung the knife at her flailing arms, and she cried out as the it slashed her right arm.

"Oh, God, no," she thought. "I won't want to be raped..."

And then he was gone with a yelp of pain and surprise. A large, dark figure swept over and past her. She heard and sensed a scuffle near her. There was another cry, a shot of anger and pain from a familiar voice, and then the babbling, frightened voice of her attacker.

"Don't hurt me...Please don't hurt me..."

"Shut up! Be quiet!"

"Detective Goren," she thought through the pain and haze. She shamefully realized how exposed she was, and her arms flew up to cover her breasts.

"Dr. Gyson." Goren knelt beside her. "It's all right. He won't hurt you any more. Here...Put this over you." He shed his jacket and carefully placed it over her shoulders. He lifted his cell phone, and she saw blood on his white shirt. She wondered if the blood was hers, Goren's or from the man who attacked her.

"I'm calling the police and for an ambulance," Goren said calmly "Don't worry. Everything is going to be ok."

Through a fog she heard him call the policy, identify himself, and ask for an ambulance. She slowly turned her head and saw the man who'd hurt her sitting on the floor. His hand were behind his back, and she guessed he was handcuffed. He was white and wide-eyed with fear. He suddenly looked very small. A cold shudder took her, and she clutched Goren's jacket to her body.

The man whimpered, but Goren glared at him. If that glare had been directed at her, she would've shut up as quickly as the man did. Goren knelt by her again, and the change in his voice and expression stunned her.

"They'll be here soon." His voice was soft and warm and gentle. "It'll be ok."

She looked up at the dark chocolate eyes.

"Thank you," she managed through the swelling bruises on her mouth. "I...I'm ruining your jacket."

"Not a problem. I'm helping to send my dry cleaner's kids to college." He smiled and winced.

"You're hurt..."

"Nothing," He shrugged. "A couple of stitches at worst."

She shivered violently, and he sat carefully next to her.

"It's all right. Just take it easy. You know as well as I do...Better...You're suffering from shock..."

His voice was wonderfully reassuring, and she realized it was one of the reasons he was so good at his job.

"Police!" A shout came from the stairwell. Goren lifted his hands, his left holding his badge. Blood soaked his right shirt sleeve.

"Goren," he called. "I'm on the job."

"He's good at this," she thought. "Very good."

Two uniformed officers, their guns drawn, moved up the hallway. The apparent leader was a black woman in her thirties; a younger, brown haired man followed her. The older cop gestured for the younger to deal with the now whimpering man who attacked her. He was a pathetic figure, and she wasn't ashamed of the sense of triumph she felt as she looked at him.

"Detective," the female cop said. "A bus is on the way. And SVU..."

"I wasn't raped," she struggled to say through her swollen face. It was suddenly important that everyone know this.

Goren gently squeezed her arm. "They're good. The best. It'll be better with them. I promise you."

She didn't know when he'd taken hold of her arm, but it was warm and comforting.

"It'll be ok." His voice was calm. "The SVU cops will take good care of you...And him." He nodded toward the quivering man who was being read his rights.

The older officer leaned down. "I've let your captain know about this, Detective."

"Great," Goren sighed. "He'll love this. Could you also let my partner know..."

The officer nodded. "Your captain said he'd take care of that."

"Good...Good."

In spite of the growing pain and the strange sensation everything came to her down a long tunnel, she noted both the calm that came over Goren when he spoke about his partner and the strain entering his voice. She saw a dark crimson stain growing on his shirt.

"Detective," she mumbled. "I think you're really hurt. You're bleeding..."

Goren stared down at his shirt. "Oh, damn."

"Here, Detective." The older cop appeared with a first aid kit. She wrapped a bandage around Goren's arm.

Gyson looked at Goren closely. He was very pale. "Detective..."

"It's not that bad," he insisted.

The elevator doors opened to reveal EMTs and their gear. The handcuffed man on the floor whimpered something about police brutality, but the younger cop glared at him.

"Shut up," the cop siad. "That won't fly. Not with what you did to the doc and Detective Goren."

"Take the doctor first," Goren insisted. "And make sure the SVU detectives know where she is."

She tried to protest, but a wave pain hit her as the EMTs started to move her.

"Everything will be all right, Doctor," one of the EMTs said.

"Detective Goren," she slurred.

"We'll take care of him too. Don't worry."

She struggled again to protest, but she was suddenly very tired in addition to the pain and fog she felt. As the EMTs eased her on the stretcher, she turned to look at Goren. Two grim faced EMTs hovered over him. Goren was very pale, and his eyes blinked rapidly She wasn't a particularly religious or spiritual woman, but she began to plead with something she might believe in to take care of this good, brave man.

END CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Alex Eames pushed though the crowd standing in the ER waiting room. She saw Joe Hannah standing among several men wearing suits and uniforms with splashes of shiny metal, and she frowned. She didn't like the Brass at the best of times, which this certainly wasn't, and she hadn't yet determined Hannah's feelings about his superiors. All she knew was that the man was willing to fight for the people he wanted. Bobby and her presences at Major Case were proof of that. But she didn't know how far Hannah's loyalty to his people would go.

"I'm tired," Alex thought. "Of trying to figure out new captains. And right now, I really don't care about new captains or the Brass. I care about Bobby and what's happened to him."

Alex stood uncertainly in the entrance to the waiting room. She was about to rush one of the information desks when the men around Hannah broke ranks. She recognized former Lieutenant Massa, now a captain, among them. There were no signs of Chief of Detectives Moran or any of his known allies and toadies, something for which Alex was very grateful. She'd learned through her various sources that Massa and Hannah weren't among Moran's admirers. Alex stepped towards Hannah, but a man whose clothes and manner marked him as a civilian, reached the captain first.

"Captain Hannah?" the man asked.

"Yes, Sir?" Hannah used the careful tone Alex had come to recognize from her new captain.

"My partner...Dr. Gyson...I understand Detective Goren saved her."

"I bet he did," Alex thought. "And nearly got himself killed in the bargain."

"I'm not sure of all the details," Hannah said. "But that certainly seems to be the case. And it wouldn't surprise me. Detective Goren is an exceptional officer."

Alex listened carefully. It was just possible that Hannah "got" Bobby.

"I hope Detective Goren is going to be all right," the civilian said. "And that he gets the credit he deserves for this. I'm very grateful. I'm sure Paula is very grateful."

Alex felt a seed of fear. All she knew from Hannah's phone call was that Bobby had been hurt while protecting a psychiatrist from an attack by a man with a long record and a big knife. Hannah's tone suggested Bobby wasn't badly hurt, but the presence of so much Brass coupled with Hannah's reticence created serious worry in Alex's mind.

"The nurses have assured me that Detective Goren will be fine," Hannah said, and Alex breathed again. "He lost some blood," Hannah continued. "Partly because he insisted Dr. Gyson get in the ambulance before him."

"Oh, Bobby...Bobby," Alex thought.

"I understand," the man said. "Detective Goren is one of her patients."

"Yes," Hannah said. "I know very little about that, of course, but I believe he was coming for his session. Is Dr. Gyson all right?"

"The doctors think so," the man said, and Alex wished could feel happier for Gyson and her partner. "She looks pretty awful right now, but nothing's broken, and they say she'll be fine when the swelling goes down. I'm sorry...I need to get back to her. Please, Captain, let me know how Detective Goren is. We owe him...Owe him a lot. I don't know what would've happened if he hadn't..."

Hannah placed a hand on the man's sh[oulder. "I'll let you know. And I'll make sure Detective Goren knows about your concern and appreciation."

The man nodded and walked away. Alex fought tears, and she rubbed her eyes before she approached her captain.

"Eames," Hannah said warmly.

"Captain. How is he? And how much trouble is he in?"

Hannah smiled. "They tell me he'll be fine. And he's not in any trouble. Saving a civilian usually doesn't get you in trouble. Quite the opposite. The perp was whining something about police brutality, but Dr. Gyson's physical state and her statement make that a lie. Never have to worry about Goren physically hurting a perp," Hannah said. "Getting inside their head, sometimes, but never hurting them physically."

Alex frowned. "Everyone is going to know that he's seeing a psychiatrist."

"Eames," Hannah said gently. "Everyone already knew that. Most of the Brass knew, and you know all of them leak like a rusty bucket."

Alex stared at the floor. She knew it was too much to hope that Bobby's private problems could stay private.

A young woman dressed in scrubs appeared. "Captain Hannah? You're waiting for news about Detective Goren?"

Alex fought against jumping at the woman.

"Yes," Hannah said. "And this is Detective Eames, his partner."

The nurse briefly studied Alex. "You must be the Ms. Eames he keeps talking about," she said. "He keeps worrying about Dr. Gyson and what Eames would say."

Alex smiled wistfully. "Worried about everyone but himself. That sounds like Bobby."

"Sometimes it's all we can do to get him to stay in the bed," the nurse said. "And if he hadn't nearly passed out when sat up too fast, he might've made it. Don't worry," she said in response to worried looks from Alex and Hannah. "He's all right. He got a couple of bad cuts and some nasty bruises. We might be able to release him in a day or so if someone can make sure he gets home and stays with him for a while."

"I can do that," Alex said, and she hoped that she didn't appear too eager.

"You're probably the only person who could get him to take it easy," Hannah said. The captain looked over Alex's shoulder. "Damn. There's some more of the Brass. I'm sorry, Eames. I have to go."

"It's ok, Captain," Alex said. She was grateful that Hannah continued his apparent lack of interest in Bobby and her relationship. "I'll make sure Bobby's ok." She didn't mention that she'd probably be spending a lot of time at Bobby's home whether Bobby wanted it or not.

"All right," Hannah said. "And I don't want to see you at Major Case tomorrow." He smiled wanly. "Wish me luck." He walked towards the flock of Brass.

"I'll take you back to Mr. Goren," the nurse said. "I understand he was hurt saving a doctor from an attack."

"I don't know the details, but yes. That's what happened," Alex said.

"We like brave cops her," the nurse said. "Especially one that saves good doctors. Dr. Gyson is on the staff here. A lot of people like her." She stopped in front of one of the curtained cubicles. "I have to warn you. He looks pretty awful, but he's going to be ok."

Alex nodded, and the nurse pulled back the curtain. Bobby did look awful. His skin was very white, white even for Bobby, and made the dark bruises on his face and shoulders look even darker. His chest was bare, and bandages covered a disturbingly large part of it. Another bandage encircled his right forearm. His eyes were closed, and Alex wondered that so big a man could look so vulnerable.

"I'll be back in a moment," the nurse said.

Bobby blinked, started to stretch, and winced. He saw Alex approaching the bed. He stared down at his hands.

"Hey," Alex said, trying to keep her voice even. "How you doing?"

"I...I'm sorry...Is Dr. Gyson ok?"

Bobby looked everywhere but directly at Alex.

Alex stepped to the side of the bed.

"I hear she's good," Alex said. "I heard her partner talking to Hannah. He's very grateful for what you did."

Some color came into Bobby's face. He shifted slightly on the bed and couldn't stop a soft cry of pain.

"Hey. Take it easy. You don't want to pull any stitches." Alex moved closer to the bed.

"Hannah upset?"

"Far from it. You did a good thing, Bobby. A very good thing."

"Excuse me."

Alex recognized the voice. She turned. "Liv," she said warmly.

"Hey, Alex," Olivia said with equal warmth. "Hey, Goren," she said to Bobby. "How you doing?"

"Not bad, considering," Bobby said. "You get stuck with taking my statement?"

"We drew straws, and I won," Benson said. "You feel up to talking?"

Bobby shrugged. "Might as well do it now. Have you talked with Dr. Gyson? Is she ok?"

"I have. She's good. I don't think she got as many stitches as you." Benson smiled. "They're going to keep her for observation, but they say she's going to be fine."

"Good, good." Bobby eased back on his pillows.

"She's certain you saved her life."

Bobby stared at his hands. "I...I was in the right place at the right time. It...It wasn't a big deal." He clutched at the sheets and glanced up at first Benson and then Alex. "I...I was going to my session with her."

Alex's breath caught in her throat. She suspected Olivia knew why Bobby happened to be outside Dr. Gyson's office, but she doubted the SVU detective knew what a leap of faith Bobby was making in revealing this bit of information. And, Alex realized, Bobby was trusting her as well. He'd said very little about these session beyond that he was going to them.

"Yes," Olivia said calmly. "I understand that."

"I need to thank her," Alex thought. "She's doing all the right thing."

Bobby took a deep breath. "Ok. What do you need from me?"

Alex started to leave, but Bobby's sudden, desperate look at her stopped her. Benson also caught the look.

"If you want Alex to stay, that's fine," Benson said.

Bobby resumed plucking at his sheets. "Uh...I...She wouldn't... I mean..."

Alex sat in the plastic chair next to the bed. "If you don't mind me taking the only chair."

Benson smiled. "As hard as that chair looks, I think I'm getting the better deal. Ok, Goren. Just tell me what happened."

Bobby took a deep breath. Quietly, calmly, steadily, he described what happened outside Gyson's office. How he arrived early for his appointment and discovered the attack, how he subdued the attacker and checked on Dr. Gyson.

"I'm impressed," Benson said when Bobby finished. "That is as clear a report as I've ever heard."

Bobby's hands plucked nervously at the covers.

"He claims to hate reports," Alex said. "But the academy uses some of his reports to teach cadets how to write them."

"I can see that," Benson said. "The only points missing are how you got hurt and how you saved Dr. Gyson."

"I...I didn't do..." Bobby stuttered.

Alex realized how tired he looked. She glanced at Benson.

"It's ok, Detective," Benson said. "Dr. Gyson's statement is pretty clear about what you did. If we need any more information, we'll be in touch."

"I...I...It was a case of being in the right place at the right time, or something like that." He struggled to keep his eyes open.

"I'll get our of here so you can get some rest," Benson said. "You take care of yourself. You too, Alex."

"Thanks, Liv. Talk to you soon."

Alex turned her attention back to Bobby before Benson was out of the cubicle. He lay back against his pillows, his eyes shut. He shivered, and his breathing was labored.

"Bobby." Alex stepped closer to the bed. It seemed impossible, but he was even paler than before Benson's arrival.

Bobby blinked. "It...I feel so cold."

Alex carefully pulled the sheet and blanket over him. She touched his cheek, which felt terribly warm.

"I'm getting a nurse...And a doctor if I can find one..."

Bobby started to protest, but a wave of dizziness hit him. When he recovered, two nurses stood by his bed, one attaching wires and sensors to him while the other closely examined a chart. Alex stood at the foot of the bed and failed at her attempt not to look anxious.

"I'm afraid, Detective Goren," the nurse holding the chart said. "We're not going to be able to let you go home this morning."

END CHAPTER TWO


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Four days passed before they allowed Bobby to go home, and only after he reluctantly agreed to Alex taking care of him, and he swore to take his medications and report any pains or fevers or chills to Alex. Ironically, Dr. Gyson left the hospital roughly forty eight hours before Bobby. Her partner—Alex never learned if they were married—visited Bobby at one point, a painful encounter marked by the man's enormous gratitude and Bobby's awkward shyness. The man's promise to use his influence—he was on several cultural and business boards and an associate if not a friend of the Mayor and several other politicians- to make sure Bobby received the recognition he deserved.

"I don't want to claim too much," the man told Bobby. "But you did a great thing...A great thing for us."

Bobby stared at his hands and mumbled something about just doing his job and being in the right place at the right time.

Dr. Gyson visited Bobby before she left the hospital Her partner hovered in the hall outside Bobby's room drinking lousy hospital coffee with Alex while the psychiatrist spoke with Bobby.

Or spoke at him. He didn't respond to her beyond a mumbled "Hello" and "You're welcome".

"I'm afraid," Gyson said. "We may have to end the sessions. Of course, we only have a couple left."

Bobby's head shot up. "But...Why?"

"Well, I'm not sure what rules apply here," Gyson said. "But, I'm afraid being rescued by a patient violates the doctor/patient relationship."

Bobby retreated. "Uh...Maybe..I guess..."

Gyson studied him. "I had the impression, Detective, you didn't want to come to the sessions."

"Yea." Bobby carefully avoided direct eye contact with the psychiatrist. It was a move she knew well. "I...I guess I kinda got used to them."

"Only a few and you've gotten used to them?"

"And...And you..." Bobby admitted. "I mean...You're the first doctor...Who...Who really seemed to...Uh...Be helping me."

"I think the fact that you let me help you might have had something to do with it," Gryson said quietly. "You gave me a chance."

Bobby digested her words. "I ran out enough times."

Gryson sat carefully in the chair next to Bobby's bed. "But you always came back..."

"Yea...I guess I did. The truth is..." Bobby swallowed. "You've helped me. It's hurt...A lot sometimes...But I...I think I'm in a better place. And...I...I'd like to figure out how to stay there...And maybe even...Get to an even...Even..."

"A better place?" Gyson suggested.

Bobby nodded.

"So...You were considering more sessions with me?" Gyson tried not to let her satisfaction she felt at gaining Bobby Goren's trust.

"Uh...Yea...I...Uh...I mean..."

Gyson waited for him. Patience, she knew, was a necessity with this patient.

"You...You're trying to decide," Bobby said deliberately. "If what happened...If I can avoid thinking of you as a...like a...victim." Bobby plucked at the sheet. ""And that you'll see me as some hero."

Gyson smiled sadly. "I keep forgetting that you know as much about psychology as I do."

"Lot of good it's done me, even if it's true," Bobby muttered.

"It has done you good," Gyson declared. "It's helped you survive. It's helped you do your work exceptionally well. Your great problem is that you haven't applied your knowledge to yourself. Of course, a lot of very good psychiatrists can't apply their own skills to themselves."

"And listening to other people's problems can't help much," Bobby commented.

"Fortunately, I look at it as helping people solve their problems," Gyson said. She shifted in the chair and winced.

Bobby sat up quickly and managed to choke back his own cry of pain. In spite of her own pain, Gyson caught his discomfort.

"I guess both of us need to take it easy," she said gently.

"Yea..." Bobby glanced at her. "You know, I don't think...I could never think...Of you as a victim...Every time we banged heads, you won. You're the strongest woman I know next to Eames. And..." he said thoughtfully. "I've seen her at some pretty low spots...And they just made me admire her more. I don't...I don't think what happened will make me think any less of you. And certainly not as a victim."

"And I guess you expect that I won't think of you as a hero," Gyson said. "Because I know you so well."

Bobby shrugged. "Maybe. Something like that."

"And I suppose that if I don't keep you as a patient, you won't go to another psychiatrist?"

Bobby shrugged again.

"That's blackmail, Detective."

"I didn't mean it like that," Bobby said quickly. "It's just...You...I get the feeling...I'm not just a case to you...I feel...I feel like I'm real to you. A person."

"I suppose we can try it," Gyson said after a moment. "I could ask another doctor that I trust to monitor us. You wouldn't have to speak with this psychiatrist unless there was some question. But you'd have to agree to that."

Bobby thought for several seconds. "All right," he finally said. "I mean...If you think...If it's someone you trust, I guess I can trust too."

"All right then." Gyson stood slowly and carefully. "As soon as the doctors clear you for something close to normal, we'll schedule some more appointments."

Bobby didn't try to hide his relief. "Yes, Doctor."

Gyson paused at the door. "Permit me to treat you as a hero just once, Detective. Thank you for saving my life."

The door had almost closed behind her when she heard his soft but clear reply.

"Thank you for saving mine."

END


End file.
